NFL Combine

Fuck Mel Kiper. Ok now that thats off my chest lets talk prospects. Quarterbacks: all I hear is Cam Newton this tall Mallett that. Yes we know they are both good and they compared them 29 times on espn yesterday. Lets face it, Mallett could be ok but Newton will win ball games if he goes to Dallas, San Fran, or fucking Kalamazoo. Running Backs: At this point Mark Ingram is probably leading his class. He is complete... Big, fast, enjoys contact, and from Alabama. My darkhorse from the running backs is going to be Jacquiz Rogers. Great speed, lacks a little size but a shit load of potential. We will talk more skill positions tomorrow. Dueces.

Star or still rising?

When you think of the NFL today, you think of Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Chad Ochocinco, and big ass linemen with polish last names that went to no-name colleges like Northeastern State and shit. What I'm interesting in is one man who is making a name for himself in his 3rd year in the NFL. No i'm not talking about Chris Johnson. I'm yapping about Desean Jackson. Jackson is a straight stud, for the real. He is the size of a normal sophomore in high school, at 5"10' 175 lbs. but that has no relevance. A 4.3 forty time, and hands like fucking Allstate Insurance leaves cornerbacks with their dicks all shriveled up. Last night, against the Cowboys, DJ caught 4 passes for 210 yards. Thats like 52 yards per catch, but his long catch of the night was 91 yards. Yes, 91 yards on the cowboys' bitch asses. Vick threw a 10 yard pass, which Jackson caught, sheds an arm tackle and tip toes down the sideline, where he is met by a Cowboy defender. He cuts back on his ass across the field and slows his sprint down to a steady JV jog where he comes to the touchdown and falls backwards theatrically for a big fat 6. Showboat? Maybe a little. Is it time for a new contract? Hell to the yeah. This isn't his only ridiculous game this year as he has shown he can be a consistent threat in the Philadelphia offense when healthy. There are a ton of recievers who can catch a ten yard out route. But there are few who can turn that ten yard out into a bonerfieing 91 yard cross-country extravaganza. Jackson is one of them so show him the damn money. Dollar, dollar bills yall.

Athlete of the Day: Ricky Bobby

Yes today's athlete of the day is Ricky Bobby. This redneck hillbilly can make a lap around the track faster you can say "Shake and Bake." He's won so many races he can shit out Nascar trophies on command. Not only does he have a smokin' hot wife but he's also sponsored by Big Red, possibly the best gum on the planet. If you don't chew Big Red then fuck you.

Protected by the 8 lb. 6 oz. new born infant Jesus, this guy is the real deal. Even though he got the shit beat out of himself by a gay French Formula 1 racer and his arm wrapped like a freakin' gordita, he's still man enough to make your woman wring out her panties regularly. Yeah, that just happened.

We can all learn from this great American hero's wisdom and drive to be the best. He drives every race like he will never drive again. This trait was taught by his dead-beat father with a great quote; "It's the fastest who gets paid and it's the fastest who get laid. If you're not first, you're last." Sure he's the spawn of trailor trash but he also represents 90% of the Nascar fan base. Really ignorant and stupid. As a great family man with his sons Walker and Texas Ranger, anything is possible. Without southern people like Ricky Bobby, America would be.... well America would be a fucking awesome.

Another famous man from the south that Mr. Bobby made a great quote that we should all live our lives by. The late great Colonel Sanders once said "I'm to drunk to taste this chicken."

Drew Stanton tries to dougie?

Not only do the Lions blow this year, but their "quarterback" (and i use that term lightly) blows hard at trying to dougie. Drew Stanton made it look soooo hard, due to his unsmooth and off-beat rhythm. He looked like Steve Erkle trying to hump a doorknob and what the hell is he doing with his hands? He's either adjusting his helmet or trying to get Calvin Johnson's nut off his hands. The man has got less rhythm than a deaf prosititute. My advice to Drew is 1. Go to youtube 2. Search teach me how to dougie. 3. memorize that shit, because you are an embarrassment to the entire Lions organization. If i was Matthew Stafford I would just straight up quit, go back to the frat house and go back to getting bitches on the reg with his typical Georgia flipped hair. The Lions will never be good, but i pray to god that Drew Stanton learns how to dougie. Amen.

Athlete of the Day : Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez

Talk about a ball player. I'll be damned if he wasn't the mexican version of Ricky Henderson. Benny could do it all, hit, run, throw, hell he could even coach. Put that hand up Smalls! Benny was playing baseball before his friends were wearing diapers. Don't tell me that his dodgers uniform wasn't badass and that his fresh PF flyers weren't bamf as well. He got a new pair of PF's and jumped over a damn fence for crying out loud. He could of hopped over Yao Ming's tall ass if he wanted to. All i'm saying is Benny was the deal and his friend with the glasses was a queer. For-ev-er. You can think what you want about him but in the end Benny is always gunna have the bigger sack.

Ricky Rubio: Legit Baller or All Talk?

Alright we all know that Ricky Rubio can ball with the best.... of the mediocre Euroleague. The thing is if he is really as good as everyone says, why wouldn't he be playing in the best league in the world making millions?

Lets put the facts out there. My man started his professional ballin' career at fourteen. Any person getting bitches and cashing checks at fourteen would be automatically considered a future great. In the past five seasons playing pro ball, he's won two Euroleague Championships and a silver medal at the 2008 Summer Olympics for Spain (the gold medal was won easily by the dream team from the US of A).

Ol' Ricky's stats against International teams however are average at best. During the 2008 Games in Beijing he averaged 4.8 points, 4 boards, and 3 assists. Michael Jordan would starve his family because of a performance like that. Against the Lakers this past October, he got shut down worse than a teenage boy trying to get laid at abstinance camp. Having no points, 1 assist, and 3 rebounds against LA is embarrassing. Aren't the greats supposed to dominate the stat column?

The big picture is this: Why would Rubio turn down millions from the NBA to play against middle aged Europeans who are as athletic as Helen Keller? Is it because he truely loves his home country or because he's afraid of being embarassed by Kobe and The King? If he really has the potential of greatness, it won't be proven unless you play against the best. The NBA is about three things: scoring, dunking from the charity stripe, and speaking English. Ricky can do none of the above. Experts say he'll join the league in 2011. Bloggers like myself think it is total bullshit. Brandon Jennings put it best after leaving the Euroleague for the NBA- "The dude is all hype".

BCS (BSS)

 

Yes, it is time for some bowl games my friends, and i'm talking about those corrupt, set up football games in the BCS, or as i call it the Bull shit series (BSS). Don't get me wrong Auburn and Oregon have been puttin' it in the butt all year. Auburn has god/moses/hybrid athlete in Cam Newton, if you haven't seen him play all year, then turn on the BCS Championship on January 10th and i gurantee a 200+ passing performance with a mix of 150 rushing yards and a few jukes that will make you change your pants. Oregon has got the most high powered offense i've seen... shit, ever. Chip Kelly should be coach of the decade, no doubt, and he uses his teams speed better than any program in the country. Darron Thomas, LaMichael James, Jeff Maehl, will be there in Glendale to take on the Cam Newton Tigers. Get your dick hard folks, its gunna get rough.

Oh and wait a minute, lets give a round of applause to Boise State. Right when non-BCS teams were getting respect, you go and lose to Nevada? Really Broncos? TCU should put a horned-frog to your face.